Just because it is Godly doesn’t mean it is God Led

This weekend I met with a beautiful group of women to discuss a book we are all reading together. In this group we discussed what things hold us back from following God. The summarizing answer was: We just can’t seem to FULLLY surrender. It seems we can do a most of the way version (after all we are a group of women seeking God and who love him dearly.) However, the FULLY evades us.

Have you ever been given directions by God and obeyed kinda?

In one of the previous books our group read (I forget which at the moment), I remember the words or at least the concept: Partial obedience is still disobedience. IT stuck out to me…probably because I knew/know I’m guilty of it. This was more than a year ago…I remember the concept, but I haven’t eliminated the habit.

I seem to try to find the loophole that allows me to achieve compliance while still maintaining an ounce of control…. I don’t know why….I don’t have a reason/explanation for it, I know better, I should surrender FULLY.

My right now example:

 God instructed me to spend more time in his word and to dive DEEP. DEEPER. I recently became unemployed (weird circumstances and long story – for a later time) with suddenly a LOT of extra time. While seeking God about this loss and the lack of a new job (yet)…he told me this time if for me to get in his word and dive DEEP. DEEPER.

I know this is the answer…but I haven’t FULLY surrendered and I have only partially obeyed…which means I have disobeyed. :/

God even clarified when he saw my delay and half effort it. He told me to take all of my different bible translations I like to study in, my concordance, my journals, my highlighters and pens, sticky notes, flash cards, etc. and set them all up on my dining room table (where I had previously set up my remote work station for my job) and get up in the morning and go to his word like I used to go to work.   

 What did I do?

I gathered a few of these items and I put them by my bedside…..so that as soon as I opened my eyes I could pick them up and get started….(side note to those who know me and my anti morning self…I even got up one morning at 4:30 am and studies the word for over an hour) I was giving myself a little pat on the back…look…I am giving my attention to his word FIRST thing in the morning….this is SO godly…… big smile.

But it isn’t God Led!

That isn’t what He told me to do. He didn’t tell me to spend more time in his word and dive in first thing (which you would think this anti morning person would be incredibly thankful for AND thus would be the LAST thing she elects to do instead of what God did ask….). He said to dive DEEP. DEEPER. He knows (and I know) how laser focused, on task, thorough, detailed oriented I can be at work (in a work like environment – like at my dining room table)….as well as….how comfy/sluggish/easily let myself off the hook after a short time and go back to sleep I can be in my bed only partially sitting up under the covers.

I also told the worship team leader (where I am currently serving at my church) that I had extra time while not working and she could schedule me more often/any campus/any day. This was even after reading in Exodus and digging deep in and about how the phrase is repeated in full “Let my people go, so they can worship me” more than a dozen times (it isn’t shortened to just “let me people go” … ie the importance and purpose of freedom (like in unemployment) is worship). SEE GODLY! …big smile….pat on the back.

But it isn’t God led!

This isn’t what he told me to do. He didn’t tell me to worship him in song and dance more. He said to spend more time in his word. He knows (and I know) how easy it is for me to enter into song and praise and dance and devotion loosing hours of time in deep adoration. He also knows that while he delights in this too, faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God. Obtaining more truth and deeper understanding of his word will only create more intimate worship and fuel even more passion and jubilee into my praise.

So what did God do?

…..well….somehow (his how)… I am not on the schedule AT ALL for next month. Que my mouth drop….then sulking face. Again, God did not tell me to worship him more (at least not in song – I do plenty of that already and should and will keep doing that). He told me to worship him specifically by spending more time in his word and to dive DEEP. DEEPER.

Don’t be fooled or deceived into thinking that you can replace the specific direction God has given you with some version (or multiple versions) of his general instruction. Just because it is godly doesn’t mean it Is God led. Of course you should always follow his general instruction (the scriptures and commands in the Bible). I will still do my best to make God the center of my thoughts and actions as soon as I open my eyes/first thing in the morning when I rise. I will also still worship him in spirit and in truth with thanksgiving.

Most importantly, I will and without delay follow exactly what he has specifically directed me to do. I will go to his word like I would go to work and I will dive DEEP. DEEPER.