When Divorce Dissolves

Several years ago I went through divorce. Some of you know and were even instrumental as pieces God used in the beauty of blanketed love over me through that time. I have mentioned this experience here on Caffeinated Christian previously, but it has come to my attention that there may be many that don’t know. It has only been in the last couple years that I have noticed that I now have a view from the other side; the outside; the after and healed side. Perhaps someone needs to know that there is another side and what that view could possibly be.

This is my story of when divorce dissolves

When divorce happens people say it is like a death. I don’t think that is accurate. It is worse than death. Someone doesn’t just leave your life. They choose to leave your life. You don’t die. You experience the pain of near death, resuscitation, and recuperation.

Near Death = Divorce (at least for me) shatters the heart. It doesn’t just break your heart it shatters it into minuscule teeny tiny pieces which could never be put back together by yourself.

Resuscitation = You actually live through divorce. Like with real/physical resuscitation there are consequences of coming back from the brink of death….

The process might involve:

1. broken bones (broken family structure, loss of stability in your life),

2. breathing tubes/complications to your ability to breath (this can often be literal…an actual inability to breath.. or metaphorical… the feeling of drowning an inability to reach the surface or get ahead of the waves and water/the sadness and depression),

3. electric shock (a volt pulses through every single aspect of your life, can make you paralyzed and feel as through all your past efforts are for nothing…make you want to give up. The volt even hits every person you know; your friends…who may eventually have to choose sides [to respond to the pulse and stay alive in your life or not and become necrotic and die falling out of your life]…even your extended family….or those you once called family.),

4. multiple organ failure (everything in your life is destroyed…your financial security, your self-image, the future as you knew it, your family, your dreams, your home),

5. brain damage (Lost ability to think of a future, to define who you are or how you will survive.)

6. Depression, anxiety, traumatic stress.

Recuperation (or what I call Dissolving) = Dissolving is an act or instance of moving gradually from one picture or state to another. This process is gradual, it takes time, and without God/the healer this process might not ever happen for some. They will still be alive/resuscitated, but stuck in life, suffering long term with the complications of post-resuscitation (…this is awful….there is a reason while people in the real/physical realm of this sign DNR, do not resuscitate, orders. I do NOT recommend stating in this stage.)

The time is worth it. During this time God rebuilds, revitalizes, redeems, raises, and restores your heart (and every area of your life). He makes everything that was failing and weak strong and successful again. He improves what isn’t very good by including and infusing himself and his love. Best of all he raises your heart and life = increasing its quality. (Really come on now, there is no one better at raising what was once dead.) He dissolves (to close down or dismiss) every lie Satan and your ex (yes, these are TWO different references…your ex is NOT Satan) may have tried to label you with. He dissolves your doubt, your worry, your anxiety, stress, depression, every complication which came from the near death trauma and resuscitation!

By the way, this Luke 7 girl would be remiss if I didn’t point out another definition for dissolve. Dissolve is to cause a solid to become incorporated into a liquid so as to form a solution. What was once a solid marriage will certainly result in many tears as you recuperate from divorce, but turning as many of those tears as possible into praise that washes the feet of Jesus certainly brings power and solution (a means for solving the problems and dealing with such a difficult situation.) I promise!

My picture = The first time I gave my heart to someone, it was the original. It was like a smooth polished shinny surface... like a Christmas ornament…it was fragile…it was light….without visible tarnish. The sparkle and beauty of my young heart distracted (even myself) from seeing the tiny stress fractures inside that made it so vulnerable. As soon as someone dropped it, it shattered. Completely.

Yet, the process of my recuperation allowed God to rebuild my heart piece by piece from the inside out. It is now a thick, vivacious, strong muscle, so very healthy. Throughout the time and process that my heart recuperated (defined as being brought back into use; restored to strength and health), God revitalized, redeemed, and raised my heart into something extravagant. God took that time to put my heart back together in a way only He could; slowly with incredible precision and care. He first crafted stunning sutures. Beautiful satin and silk sutures with his hand writing/autograph etched and engraved using precious stones, colors, and gems such as gold, jasper, amethyst, onyx, ruby, topaz, sapphire, and more that only He can name. Each suture has a love notes, promise, reminder of the value He places in each and every piece He originally created and has restored. See, He didn’t just replace my heart with something new and shiny. He carefully sought out each shattered lost piece and hand crafted it back together using his engraved love notes. These countless sutures are all throughout my heart and have created a net, framework, and mesh of strength and support more powerful and secure than anything that can even be found here on earth.

The most beautiful part of my picture is that God restored my heart. To restore is to put again in possession of something. My heart is back in the possession of God. My forever marriage with the man God has planned for my life won’t involve (or require) my heart (or his) to be given away; just acknowledgement and gratefulness that they are beating in harmony and woven together with indescribably beautiful stitching from our father who safely supports, sustains, owns, and holds them both.   

  

While my dream would be that there would never be another divorce in the world, I realize that some of you may be facing it now. I hope this encouraged you, gave you hope, and provided some peace. For those of you reading who have never and will never experience this, I pray this gave you peace in knowing that the loved ones near you going through this will get all the answers and help they need from our faithful and lavishly loving God.

With Love,