On the Same Page

You can’t expect someone who is still on page 10 to have an understanding of or to join you in your reaction on page 85.

Often when we go through something in life we gain an immensely different knowledge base and perspective than those who we share life with that haven’t been through the same. You try a job in a new state, but come back. You try and fail. You try and succeed. You have a baby. You lose a close friend or family member (through betrayal or death.) You graduate with a degree or higher degree. You experience divorce. You get a real honest and true peak at how much God loves you. You learn you are adopted. You adopt. You understand you have been adopted by God.

All of these events are usually achieved with many people around you that don’t get the same experience you do …or at least certainly not WHEN you do. Before you have a baby you might spend time with a lot of friends without kids...or at least a few. Before you get a divorce you may spend many nights with other married couples. Before you graduate much time may be spent with other students. With each new level of intimacy in your relationship with God, your friends who don’t know him or just met him seem younger. The desire to show them what you learned is a deepening hunger and exciting joy. When you read the amazing twist on page 56 you desperately want your friends to make the giant leap from page 10 to 56 so you can share the incredible excitement.

Like reading a book or watching a television series, it is hard to remember that someone on page 10 or season 2 episode 3 lacks the knowledge and experience you have at page 85 or episode 5 of season 7. They won’t react like you. They won’t understand your reaction, but you can find joy and bridge the gap as you reminisce with them until they have caught up. Really, you might be surprised you missed something on page 36 or forgot something you loved so much when you were back on page 42 yourself. You might soon find yourself uplifted with joy and rekindled passion to the story as you rewatch season 5.

When they graduate, you can help them navigate the budget changes from student to workforce, but also be refueled as you are reminded of the incredible achievement you have accomplished and how far you have come.

If they suffer a loss or divorce, you can hold their had and remind them that there is another side…something others told you and you desperately needed to hear over and over…you didn’t believe when you stayed battered by the storm you weathered. It will remind you time is precious and relationships are worth attention, work, and sacrifice.

 
How they grow with God the happy they obtain and the sorrows they traverse will remind you of the pages in your life that were so intense when you first read them, but seem so different as you reread with the knowledge you have now. As you remember how good God has been and the story has been laid out your become refueled with desire of more, with intrigue, and renewed attention as moving ahead will reveal new chapters and knowledge. While it might also lead to being on a different page than some of those around you, you can be as easily encouraged in the value you get when they read what you already have.

Romans 12:15-16 “¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another….”

Rejoicing and mourning with one another may actually be a call not to experience the same thing/feeling at the same time, but rather an encouragement to share in someone’s experience as you have already read that page. Or if this is your first time reading the page or watching the episode, to seek out another who already has. After all, the most common harmony isn’t achieved without each part being on a different note.

When Divorce Dissolves

Several years ago I went through divorce. Some of you know and were even instrumental as pieces God used in the beauty of blanketed love over me through that time. I have mentioned this experience here on Caffeinated Christian previously, but it has come to my attention that there may be many that don’t know. It has only been in the last couple years that I have noticed that I now have a view from the other side; the outside; the after and healed side. Perhaps someone needs to know that there is another side and what that view could possibly be.

This is my story of when divorce dissolves

When divorce happens people say it is like a death. I don’t think that is accurate. It is worse than death. Someone doesn’t just leave your life. They choose to leave your life. You don’t die. You experience the pain of near death, resuscitation, and recuperation.

Near Death = Divorce (at least for me) shatters the heart. It doesn’t just break your heart it shatters it into minuscule teeny tiny pieces which could never be put back together by yourself.

Resuscitation = You actually live through divorce. Like with real/physical resuscitation there are consequences of coming back from the brink of death….

The process might involve:

1. broken bones (broken family structure, loss of stability in your life),

2. breathing tubes/complications to your ability to breath (this can often be literal…an actual inability to breath.. or metaphorical… the feeling of drowning an inability to reach the surface or get ahead of the waves and water/the sadness and depression),

3. electric shock (a volt pulses through every single aspect of your life, can make you paralyzed and feel as through all your past efforts are for nothing…make you want to give up. The volt even hits every person you know; your friends…who may eventually have to choose sides [to respond to the pulse and stay alive in your life or not and become necrotic and die falling out of your life]…even your extended family….or those you once called family.),

4. multiple organ failure (everything in your life is destroyed…your financial security, your self-image, the future as you knew it, your family, your dreams, your home),

5. brain damage (Lost ability to think of a future, to define who you are or how you will survive.)

6. Depression, anxiety, traumatic stress.

Recuperation (or what I call Dissolving) = Dissolving is an act or instance of moving gradually from one picture or state to another. This process is gradual, it takes time, and without God/the healer this process might not ever happen for some. They will still be alive/resuscitated, but stuck in life, suffering long term with the complications of post-resuscitation (…this is awful….there is a reason while people in the real/physical realm of this sign DNR, do not resuscitate, orders. I do NOT recommend stating in this stage.)

The time is worth it. During this time God rebuilds, revitalizes, redeems, raises, and restores your heart (and every area of your life). He makes everything that was failing and weak strong and successful again. He improves what isn’t very good by including and infusing himself and his love. Best of all he raises your heart and life = increasing its quality. (Really come on now, there is no one better at raising what was once dead.) He dissolves (to close down or dismiss) every lie Satan and your ex (yes, these are TWO different references…your ex is NOT Satan) may have tried to label you with. He dissolves your doubt, your worry, your anxiety, stress, depression, every complication which came from the near death trauma and resuscitation!

By the way, this Luke 7 girl would be remiss if I didn’t point out another definition for dissolve. Dissolve is to cause a solid to become incorporated into a liquid so as to form a solution. What was once a solid marriage will certainly result in many tears as you recuperate from divorce, but turning as many of those tears as possible into praise that washes the feet of Jesus certainly brings power and solution (a means for solving the problems and dealing with such a difficult situation.) I promise!

My picture = The first time I gave my heart to someone, it was the original. It was like a smooth polished shinny surface... like a Christmas ornament…it was fragile…it was light….without visible tarnish. The sparkle and beauty of my young heart distracted (even myself) from seeing the tiny stress fractures inside that made it so vulnerable. As soon as someone dropped it, it shattered. Completely.

Yet, the process of my recuperation allowed God to rebuild my heart piece by piece from the inside out. It is now a thick, vivacious, strong muscle, so very healthy. Throughout the time and process that my heart recuperated (defined as being brought back into use; restored to strength and health), God revitalized, redeemed, and raised my heart into something extravagant. God took that time to put my heart back together in a way only He could; slowly with incredible precision and care. He first crafted stunning sutures. Beautiful satin and silk sutures with his hand writing/autograph etched and engraved using precious stones, colors, and gems such as gold, jasper, amethyst, onyx, ruby, topaz, sapphire, and more that only He can name. Each suture has a love notes, promise, reminder of the value He places in each and every piece He originally created and has restored. See, He didn’t just replace my heart with something new and shiny. He carefully sought out each shattered lost piece and hand crafted it back together using his engraved love notes. These countless sutures are all throughout my heart and have created a net, framework, and mesh of strength and support more powerful and secure than anything that can even be found here on earth.

The most beautiful part of my picture is that God restored my heart. To restore is to put again in possession of something. My heart is back in the possession of God. My forever marriage with the man God has planned for my life won’t involve (or require) my heart (or his) to be given away; just acknowledgement and gratefulness that they are beating in harmony and woven together with indescribably beautiful stitching from our father who safely supports, sustains, owns, and holds them both.   

  

While my dream would be that there would never be another divorce in the world, I realize that some of you may be facing it now. I hope this encouraged you, gave you hope, and provided some peace. For those of you reading who have never and will never experience this, I pray this gave you peace in knowing that the loved ones near you going through this will get all the answers and help they need from our faithful and lavishly loving God.

With Love,     

No Longer Striving for A

For quite some time I have struggled to feel as though I have a handle on my calling. I have been praying, reading, seeking doing all I can to try to figure it out. Define it. I have been begging God to reveal it to me. I want what he designed for me. I want to go after it and be successful…..but what….. Should I organize and hold retreats for women? My heart would overrun with joy and excitement as I watch God move not to mention the immense pleasure of being invited into these moments with him; MAN I could/would be satisfied. Surely that is it; right God? Should I be a Lawyer? I have wanted to be a lawyer since I was a little girl. Surely that is something you designed in me and that must be it; right God? Should I open a coffee shop focused on community outreach? Oh the daily gratification of the room to focus on being your hands and feet. Surely this would bring joy to your heart; right God? Should I join or start a nonprofit that seeks to support and change the lives of children all over the world? Little boys in Rwanda, Cuba, and Haiti, little girls in Mexico, China, and the Philippines = feed them, get them education, adopt? Surely this fills my heart and pulls forth my passion fueling each day’s work this is it; right God?

I’m not getting any younger; why does it feel like I can’t answer this question of what my calling is? How is it that I don’t have milestones completed along the path for what I have been called to? I can’t point to any I don’t think.

But

there isn’t a place you have called me to

there isn’t a career, job, position, or title you have marked as my calling

there isn’t a thing you have called me to achieve

is there?    

NO!

You are not a God of a

There is not a single place you have called me to go, one thing to accomplish, or to be. You have invited me on a journey. Not a short trip with a planned destination, but an uncharted prolonged adventure where you are bringing me to new frontier of exploration each day and surely in each season.

God, my calling is the very kindling you have infused within me to pull me like a magnetic to each and every new horizon and quest you will be bringing me to.

My calling is the very intricate design you have carved, molded, and shaped within me to present in each new escapade as the most perfect fit and necessary tool for that moment and mission.

My calling is the approach I am uniquely crafted and predestined to use in each of the new doors and situations you will bring me to and through.

Today my calling is to be a light/a calm (ME – the me that remains in you) in a location you have positioned me in. I am who you created me to be and I work in the ways you have crafted my experience and education to produce. Tomorrow/our next exploration together, my calling may be to use that same character and those same conventional ways that are particular to me

to lead, teach, and raise my children                OR

to support in prayer, time, assistance, guidance, and management 

another       OR

to arrange the travel of others in which they discover a new you         OR AND THEN

to visit many cities and countries discovering your glory and brilliance of design and creation while those near me are encouraged to trust you

See you are the God of more than enough. Your thoughts are not my thoughts. Your ways are higher than my ways. God your calling for me is for more than a anything….your calling for me is everything. My calling is the character you are building in me, the style you are developing me to use, the thought process you've established in me for which I funnel everything, the creativity which fuels my abilities, and most of all the worship you have designed and know me to seek in sustaining all of the above.

After all, calling is defined as a strong urge toward a particular way. This is best known and understood as my natural God given approach, being, habits, and desires. And let’s be honest, as I read the many scriptures where you “call” or where we are “called” ; that calling IS an invitation, a hope, a lifestyle; a fluid arch and current unending.

I always am and will forever be abiding in my calling which will go many places, be many assignments, and accomplish many things. I am soooo excited!! Best of all, there is no wait! I am in and successful with my calling right now! Thank you!