Sorry I have not posted in
awhile. For some time now I have taken many many steps backwards away from
ministry and church, far more steps than I ever thought would happen again in
my life. However as I reflect, perhaps this season has been to broaden and make
bigger my perspective? I'm still not sure. Although, it does seem that the more
steps I take away from serving and church the closer I feel I'm stepping to
Christ. I know I know that statement it blowing my mind too!
The last five years have been of incredible growth in my life, yet have felt stagnant and deserted. I spent hours upon hours following guidance on waiting on the lord and having faith that allows for a lamp unto my feet and not demanding a sunrise upon my destination only to have it followed with teaching of how his people parish without a vision and setting out with purpose.
No wonder the church can so readily confuse and alienate the lost.... I'm found and think I need new road maps; but it is part of the process, the journey. Uncovering a truth that drives you deeper into your need for God and the Holy Spirit to interpret and instruct. Then revelation. And repeat.
In stepping back I also start to see those who are on the outskirts. The ones I was missing because my focus lens was too tight and too tight inside the church. I see those on the edge who slightly believe, but have not experienced an invitation to relationship with him. I see those that were driven to memorize the law before ever being brought to the heart or intent of it. Worse yet I see those have historically experience both in the past but are heroically and sacrificially setting out to save or cities, our people. (Looks and sounds a little like they get the essence of Christ and have even put it into practice,) but remember they never were shown his heart they were never invited into relationship and even worse still were hammered into religious rules and the restrictions they force. They are tangled in religious rule ropes that bind them up and keep them out and away.
What was done!?! My heart aches and grieves...it is angry. This was wrong. This is wrong. It is upside down and wrong side out.
What happens when those who save our cities and our people are called upon to see and sometimes even be a part of the worst of humanity and sin? What happens when this is compounded on top of a life where they have only been beat with the bible, and were never mended with love?
Was it that God wasn't trusted to sort it out...was it that God was made too small to have a solution. I don't serve that God. I don't want to invite anyone to know that God nor do I want to assemble with those who would encourage me to understand that God.
Instead I serve a God whose ability to love far surpasses my understanding and can cover even the people and circumstances I can't figure out or that scare me, that rock me. So what if the grace and mercy another person receives appears overly extravagantly lavish beyond what I can grasp or beyond what I or they deserve. So what if these gifts can draw thin finite lines against laws or rules. Bend them. Overpower them. Isn't that what I said I accepted and received the hour I first believed?!? Shouldn't this excite me and empower me? Shouldn't it do the same for the church? Wouldn't this energize a people, not condemn them? Wouldn't it further require constant abiding in Christ to be able to let it rule? Isn't that we are called to?
The last five years have been of incredible growth in my life, yet have felt stagnant and deserted. I spent hours upon hours following guidance on waiting on the lord and having faith that allows for a lamp unto my feet and not demanding a sunrise upon my destination only to have it followed with teaching of how his people parish without a vision and setting out with purpose.
No wonder the church can so readily confuse and alienate the lost.... I'm found and think I need new road maps; but it is part of the process, the journey. Uncovering a truth that drives you deeper into your need for God and the Holy Spirit to interpret and instruct. Then revelation. And repeat.
In stepping back I also start to see those who are on the outskirts. The ones I was missing because my focus lens was too tight and too tight inside the church. I see those on the edge who slightly believe, but have not experienced an invitation to relationship with him. I see those that were driven to memorize the law before ever being brought to the heart or intent of it. Worse yet I see those have historically experience both in the past but are heroically and sacrificially setting out to save or cities, our people. (Looks and sounds a little like they get the essence of Christ and have even put it into practice,) but remember they never were shown his heart they were never invited into relationship and even worse still were hammered into religious rules and the restrictions they force. They are tangled in religious rule ropes that bind them up and keep them out and away.
What was done!?! My heart aches and grieves...it is angry. This was wrong. This is wrong. It is upside down and wrong side out.
What happens when those who save our cities and our people are called upon to see and sometimes even be a part of the worst of humanity and sin? What happens when this is compounded on top of a life where they have only been beat with the bible, and were never mended with love?
Was it that God wasn't trusted to sort it out...was it that God was made too small to have a solution. I don't serve that God. I don't want to invite anyone to know that God nor do I want to assemble with those who would encourage me to understand that God.
Instead I serve a God whose ability to love far surpasses my understanding and can cover even the people and circumstances I can't figure out or that scare me, that rock me. So what if the grace and mercy another person receives appears overly extravagantly lavish beyond what I can grasp or beyond what I or they deserve. So what if these gifts can draw thin finite lines against laws or rules. Bend them. Overpower them. Isn't that what I said I accepted and received the hour I first believed?!? Shouldn't this excite me and empower me? Shouldn't it do the same for the church? Wouldn't this energize a people, not condemn them? Wouldn't it further require constant abiding in Christ to be able to let it rule? Isn't that we are called to?
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